“I recognize that there’s a part of me missing, and I deserve to explore why.” 

This is how Caitlin Nagy felt as she was turning 40, just before gifting herself a boudoir photoshoot. She knew the last eight years of her diagnosis with early onset Parkinson’s had made an impact on how she saw herself. She was experiencing a loss of self. “When I started having symptoms, I shut down and stopped seeing myself as a sexual being,” says Caitlin. “I chose to do a boudoir shoot to challenge myself, and ask ‘why do I feel this way?’ It turns out, doing a boudoir shoot was such a key activator of self-love and self-acceptance,” Caitlin shares. 

A pampering experience becomes an empowering experience

Boudoir is known not only for producing sensual photos intended to boost our confidence but for being an experience that leaves you feeling pampered and empowered. With a professional team solely focused on making you feel gorgeous and acting as your personal cheerleaders, it leaves you feeling ready to take on the world. 

Caitlin recalls having really active symptoms on the day of the shoot. In an Instagram post sharing her photographs, she wrote: 

“I almost canceled, I almost turned the car around, but I am so glad I didn’t. The dyskinesia from my meds had my body twitching and contorting my limbs like crazy. But I did it. And I did it because I wanted to prove to myself that it was still possible. I left the shoot feeling like an entirely new woman, accepting and loving my body for everything its able to manage, and feeling sexy.” 

Through encouragement, support and playfulness, the team helped foster a sense of self-love and appreciation that Caitlin has carried with her to this day. Thinking back to the moment she saw the final images, Caitlin says, “It was like an outsider looking in. I was finally able to see the beauty in myself again. It gave me the confidence to say, ‘this is my body and I’m totally okay with it.’”

A learning experience, too

“When I started to think about pursuing this, I knew I wanted to be photographed by a fellow woman,” Caitlin explains. “It felt important to be captured from a woman’s perspective and to have her understand what it’s like to struggle with self-acceptance.” 

While aware of the common self-esteem struggles that often impact women, the photography agency Caitlin hired, Boudoir Atelier, had never worked with a client with Parkinson’s, meaning that Caitlin pursuing this experience rippled through the lives of the boudoir team. Caitlin says, “That was another amazing aspect of this. The fact that I was the first woman with a chronic condition like Parkinson’s to ever hire this well-established photography agency… it made it even more important to talk about.” 

Caitlin knows there are other women going through the same loss of self. “Parkinson’s is one of the fastest growing neurodegenerative diseases in my age category right now. If other women could get to a place of self-love and confidence faster than I did, how groundbreaking and life-changing would that be?” 

Thanks to the boudoir experience, Caitlin felt a huge shift in her self-confidence and ability to share and educate others about Parkinson’s, too. She says, “I’m more comfortable saying, ‘I have Parkinson’s.’ I’ve always been able to say those words but would still feel uncomfortable and embarrassed about it whereas now I’m just confident about it.” 

How her experience impacted her career growth

Caitlin’s boudoir experience didn’t just increase her confidence in her own body, it helped create confidence in other areas of her life as well, such as her career. Caitlin is in the process of stepping back from her 9-to-5 with a creative agency to pursue her own creative line of work developing personal brands for small businesses and entrepreneurs, Creative by Caitlin.  “I want to empower people in similar positions as myself – someone with an illness or disability – who wants to pursue their own goals and dreams,” she says. “I want to help them create a life that they didn’t think was still possible.”  

During the pandemic she and her husband also went into business with their family. They renovated an old chalet and converted it into a resort and wedding venue – that officially launched this summer! Highlands Estate features the full country getaway experience and is set to start hosting weddings, events and family reunions at the end of August. 

Having an experience that reminds us we are sexual beings, that we are beautiful and deserving of seeing ourselves that way, transcends intimacy. It moves us into a sense of empowerment to take on new challenges like career changes while also making us more comfortable facing the day-to-day challenges that Parkinson’s brings.  

Caitlin encourages everyone to seek out similar experiences to rediscover the parts of themselves accidentally left behind as Parkinson’s becomes a part of them, too. 

Are you living with Parkinson’s? What helps you restore your sense of self?